The State of Things
by wizli
Summary: In the middle of the war and Horcrux quest, Harry and Draco reflect about their past, present and future relationship finding their similarities are much bigger either of them though before and their differences are exactly what makes them who they are. P
1. The Dark Lair

A/N: The chapters are written alternatively in Draco and Harry's first person POV. This is un-betaed 'till some generous soul offers themselves to help me with this 'cause english it's not my mother language. The title and lyrics belong to the song "State of Things" by Turin Brakes, from their LP "The Optimist". They're obviously not mine.

This is my first published fic, please have mercy .

Chapter One: The Dark Lair

oO0Oo

Listen to me but don't die laughing.

All things must end yeah?

But I can see my fate in your eyes

As I'm stiched up by my friends again.

They just can't defend the state of things

Between you and me

Used to be on fire.

oO0Oo

Draco's P.O.V.

It is no wonder I am so fucked up, I realize now, seeing my proud father walk inside the Death-Eater's circle to worshipfully kneel in the bare ground to kiss the edge of his Master's robes while my mother chatter amicably with his crazy fugitive sister as if they were lounging in a garden party at the Manor. Compared to them my uncle Rodolphus looks almost sane, standing tall between his peers dressed in his black robes, the white mask spattered with dried blood.

After I cowardly ran away from Hogwarts a little more than year and a half ago, I was brought to the Dark Lord presence and judged by the near failure of my mission and for having cost the loss of one of our most valued spies. I was cursed within an inch of my life and then further punished denying me the great i honor /i to bear the Dark Mark until I prove myself worthy. Because you see, when I attempted my i oh-so-clever /i plan to kill Dumbledore I wasn't Marked yet, I just had the initial stages of the complex Morsmordre enchantment done. In fact, the Mark in my arm is almost faded now; it looks like the cheap tattoos the naughty little wizards get behind their parent's back at the novelty stores in Diagon Alley. How charming, I wonder what my father would do if he hears me talking like that. It would not be good, for sure.

What about the brave hero Severus Snape?. Such a feral and scary DE the Dark Lord's most loyal servant turned to be parading around The Lair as his Master's favorite pet, showing off his new fine robes and preening shamelessly at all the attention he gets standing beside his Lord's throne in the audience chamber. I always though there was something wrong with the man but I never expected i that /i . What would he do if he knew Wormtail has been speaking behind his back?. Since Snape arrived from Hogwarts he is been staying in the Dark Lord's rooms, which while very luxurious and regal only have one bedroom, furnished with a big, comfy four poster bed (or that is what I been told, Merlin help me if I knew that from personal experience, yuck!). Nobody thinks he is sleeping in the couch. In fact, the rat is spreading the rumor that one night they forgot to cast the silencing spell and from the corridor outside the door could be heard the unmistakable sound of a whip slashing over naked flesh and a voice suspiciously sounding like Snape's moaning, screaming and begging for more, the worish bastard. Wormtail is so jealous, sulking at the corners muttering about his Master's dom games and obviously gagging for his cock. How utterly disgusting, I think I am going to be sick.

I wonder what Potter and the Weasel would say if they knew all this. I think they would choke and splutter, falling to the floor laughing like madmen with their sides hurting and drying mirth tears from their eyes with borrowed handkerchiefs, the plebeians. It still would be a sight to be reckoned, that.

Talking about disgusting things, last week I saw my father hiding behind a big tree in the garden being sucked rather expertly by a barely dressed aunt Bellatrix. Who would have thought they teach how to deep-throat in Azkaban, those scary dementors must be quite the naughty creatures. Not getting behind, I found my mother very early this morning sneaking out from Amycus and Alectus bedroom with her robes unbuttoned and her shoes in the hand. My family seems to be the perfect picture of the wealthy pureblood's moral depravity, shinning with their lack of modals and etiquette. Lucius and Narcissa are torturers and killers, I do not know how I though they will be honoring their marriage vows, silly me. That is exactly the reason I will not be getting married ever. That is a crappy reason, I know, but it sound a lot better than confess that I am gay and the Wizarding World do not approve same-sex marriages. Pity that.

So I pass my days hidden in The Dark Lair trying to survive relatively safe while surrounded by sex-crazed and murderous people. Gee, how quaint. But I do not lead a totally purposeless existence. I make use of my time watching from the shadows, taking notice of the other's movements and listening to the secret conversations, acquiring information to help my own cause. That is the Slytherin way to live.

The enchanted mirror in my robes' pocket is warming. I wonder what the ruddy bi-spectacled git wants this time, he knew I had to be present in today's ceremonies to not look suspiscious. What?, didn't you guess it before?.

I am Scarhead's newest spy-boy.


	2. The Griffin's Nest

A/N: This chapter is a much longer that the first. Harry had a lot of things to tell us. I think you'll like it . The title and lyrics belong to the song "State of Things" by Turin Brakes, from their LP "The Optimist". They're so obviously not mine.

Chapter Two: The Gryffin's Nest

oO0Oo

See what happens just happens

There ain't no straight lines in the state of things.

So try to cling on for dear life

And don't forget the world keeps on turning round

Despite you and me

Used to be on fire, fire.

Now look now at where we're going.

I don't know where I'm going

I don't know.

oO0Oo

Harry's P.O.V.

I don't know how in the hell I'm supposed to pull this out. We're so fucked.

My admiration for the Old Man grows every day. Dumbledore was an extraordinary man. He was manipulative, secretive, sweet deprived, color blinded and a little incoherent from time to time but he was one of the finest wizard the Wizarding World has ever seen, right there at the top of the list with Merlin, Godric Gryffindor and Bowman Wright, the creator of the Golden Snitch.

I can't even imagine how he was capable to learn about the existence of Voldemort's Horcruxes, guess his number and significance, to collect the Pensieve memories necessaries to probe his theory and finally start the search of them with relative success. He identified Ryddle's diary, destroyed the Gaunt's ring, almost found Slytherin's locket and deduced the existence of Hufflepuff cup. It's been more than a year and a half since his death and I'm no closer to find what the fifth Horcrux is or to confirm if Nagini is one too. I'm starting to get worried.

The locket and the cup were relatively easy to find. Ron, Hermione and I spend one glorious month of freedom at the Dursley. It's a wonder what a little stick of wood can do to the self-confidence of adult people. When Dudley saw us enter the house with our three big trunks he ran upstairs to fill a big suitcase with his clothes, said a quick goodbye to his parents and went to spend the whole month at Pier Polkiss' house. Aunt Petunia was devastated, crying in the corners for her little Didy-dunns and trying an incredible guilt trip and Uncle Vernon screamed, raged and fumed almost to the point of boiling but they couldn't convince him to return home. Why would he, if Polkiss gave him complete access to his house, including the refrigerator, bar and his dad's wallet and porn video collection. He was in paradise and we got to use his room for Hermione to sleep in and his new PC to teach Ron how to play strategy games online. He absolutely blasted us playing StarCraft and laughed himself silly with Battle Chess against the computer.

My relatives left us pretty much alone and we were in my house together with a Gringott's pouch full of money. We couldn't go too far, you know, because of the wards and all that but we went to the market to buy food, got movies from the movie rental, bought some new clothes (I'm free of the whale clothes at last!) and, to Hermione's delight, we found a little bookstore specialized in historical novels. We went all Muggle for about a month and got to cook, eat, clean, play and sleep with minimal interruptions from the Dursley. We had a great time enjoying the last days of our childhood knowing that once we returned to the Wizarding World we would be living in the very middle of the war.

We may have "borrowed" a couple of books from the Hogwarts Library (Madame Pince is going to kill us!) to find information about the Founder's relics and mementos and I made the solemn compromise to finally read "Hogwarts, a history". I didn't got to finish it, the thing is enormous, but surprisingly it was a very enlightening reading and I learned a lot of interesting facts about the time of the Founders and the many secrets of the castle. Did you know that's impossible to apparate inside Hogwarts?. Nah, I'm kidding. I was just trying, failing miserably, to sound all smart and clever like Hermione.

Talking about Hermione, she and Ron got together within the first week after we arrived to Privet Drive. It's unbelievable they lasted that long without found about their mutual feelings. Denial, thy name is Ron and your surname is Weasley. The first days they were impossible, they couldn't stop touching and kissing and cuddling and aaaarrrggg!. That extra bedroom became very handy and luckily for me, Hermione has an incredible knack to put strong Silencing Charms or I would have left scared for life. I love my friends dearly, I really do, but I'm very happy to live without getting inside information about their sex life. Besides, I'm single now and it was pretty sadistic of them to be flaunting their relationship in front of poor old sex-starved me. I'm seventeen, what do you think?. Fortunately for me, my right hand and I are very happy together, thank you.

After that long, blissfully month my birthday finally arrived and with it came the real world. We packed our things, shoved down the dinner and birthday cake, stuffed the gifts and cards inside my robes pocket, grabbed firmly our wands and the second after the clock signaled midnight we apparated out from Privet Drive before the Order, the Ministry or the Death-Eaters could find us.

You see, we learned from Tonks that Sirius in his will had left me something more besides Grimmauld Place. Obviously nobody else in the Order of the Phoenix considered important to inform me about this. Sirius knew I wanted to leave the Dursley the precise moment I turned seventeen but he found that Grimmauld Place wasn't the best place for me to start a life as an adult, besides it was still being used as Headquarters and there was a lot of people coming in and out of the house constantly. He also knew I would have wanted to live with him but that wasn't possible until the Ministry would found him innocent of his charges. He asked the collaboration of a couple of the youngest member of the Order to help him find, buy and furnish a brand new home for me. I was so touched when Tonks told me; Sirius was so thoughtful and caring, he always took his role as my godfather very seriously but the circumstances were never on our part. I miss him so much. It's been more than two years since his death but it's still very difficult to accept he's gone forever.

Well, my dear godfather went and bought me a house in Godric's Hollow, the same town where I was born and the Potters had supposedly lived during generations, then took a mountain of catalogues and proceeded to order by owl all the furniture and decoration needed for a full wizarding house. He got help to cast the wards and repellant charms, then made it unplottable and put all the protective charms he could remember, including the ones he found in the Black's library. You never know when that kind of spells could come in handy.

Sirius never got to tell me about the house or to finish the Fidelius charm so we found it very easily following Tonks detailed directions. We had less than ten minutes to cast a successful Fidelius and enter the house, making it impossible to found even to the Order members who helped with it. After long deliberations we have previously decided that I was going to be my own Secret Keeper. Not very orthodox, I know, but extremely practical ´cause I would never, ever betray myself. I have a lot of confidence in myself, you know. While Hermione revised the state of the wards I casted the charm and Ron waited near the entrance of the house for us levitating our trunks. I quickly told them the address ("The home of Harry Potter, The Griffin's Nest, is located at Number Twenty, Nagar Street in Godric's Hollow") and went inside, closing and warding the door.

We fell to the floor tired and panting and not five minutes had passed when we heard the soft pops of apparition. It was indeed the group of people that have helped Sirius to put the house together: Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, Charlie and Bill. They searched and searched but couldn't find the house. I felt a little guilty 'cause they looked extremely worried but I left in my room a letter addressed to the Order were I explained all that I could. I told them about the Prophecy and that I was in fact The Chosen One but not to worry (much), Dumbledore had trained me well and gave me the tools to finally destroy Voldemort. The Order would have to accept we were working for separate but looking toward the same objective, they couldn't be involved in our work but also we wouldn't obstruct theirs in any way. In fact, we would be helping them in every way we could. It would have to be enough.

They left almost a hour later and we could finally stand up to light the lamps and take a first look to house. It was beautiful, with really big windows, high ceiling and wooden floor, covered in colorful rugs. The walls were painted in soft colors that coordinate perfectly with the curtains and furniture, or so Hermione told me, and were covered in Muggle and Wizard pictures of people and landscapes. It was really great. We crossed the living and dining room to look at the fully equipped kitchen and then the main corridor that went to the three bedrooms and the study. There was a main bathroom and another smaller inside my room (it had my name painted on the door, how cute is that?). The last door of the corridor leaves, surprisingly, to a garden conservatory with a small table with four chairs, a bench and a little pond in the corner. It had big windows that would be very luminous during the day and soft, dark earth ready to plant. I knew in an instant that I have found a new hobby; after all those years taking care of the Dursley's garden I finally will be doing something to enjoy myself.

After that I came back to bedroom and threw myself over the covers, too tired to even put my clothes off. I waked up late the next day, went to my brand new kitchen to cook a big brunch, took a plate full of food and went to unpack my things. I started with my notes and books and closed myself in the studio to start working immediately. The things were serious now; there was no time for lazing around anymore.

The first week became two and suddenly we were in the third one no closer of finding anything that we were at Privet Drive. In the border of a nervous breakdown, I put all my books down, slammed the door and went in search of the bags of seeds I've bought for the garden. I opened the windows to let the air flow and sat on the earth to draw stick figures with a small shovel. I draw myself, with glasses, porcupine hair and the scar included, then Ron and Hermione, one very tall and another with bushy hair. Then I draw Sirius with something that could have passed like his motorbike and started to think about the days when he and the Marauders were young. Sirius told me once that when he had my age left his family and went to live with my dad and my grandparents, probably here in Godric's Hollow. It must have been grand, together during summer playing pranks and small games of quidditch and basically free to do what they wanted. I'm sure Remus and the rat came to visit too and I can easily imagine what a great time they must have had.

I don't know if my dad had more relatives but Sirius had a younger brother. I don't know very much about Regulus; just that he was a Slytherin, lived with his parents in Grimmauld Place and was a Death-Eater that died very young, possibly killed by Voldemort himself. I've always wondered about that, what must have he done to piss off Voldemort so badly?. I haven't heard about any other DE getting killed by his own people. What could have been so important about you, Regulus Black?. Wait a minute. Wait a minute!. Noooo, it can't be. How could he…?. But it's perfect!. My mind went on overload so I stood up quickly, carelessly dusting my old jeans, and hurried to find Hermione.

Yeah, do you know what we found?. Regulus Black middle name was Arcturus. R.A.B., can you believe it?. I don't know how in hell we couldn't see it before; it was so obvious it wasn't even funny. Hermione, Merlin bless her, remembered that our first summer at Grimmauld Place, when Mrs. Weasley have us clean the rooms and the parlor, we saw a heavy golden locket with an S engraved. We immediately sent Ron to HQ to see if the locket was still there but there was no such luck, he couldn't find it anywhere. I wanted to cry, it was surely lost. We could have throw it to the garbage, Kreacher could have nicked it out as one of his Mistress' little treasures or Mundungus Fletcher could have stole it to sell it Merlin knows where. Life was unfair, we were so close to find it…

I decided to further investigate the Mundungus option. It was the only one that gave me a little of hope. I couldn't involve the Order without gave them details so I had to sacrifice myself and go to talk directly with Scrimgeour to ask for permission to visit the disgusting thief at Azkaban and ask him for my stolen things. I'm the Black's heir, after all, it wasn't so far fetched and besides it was the truth. I masterfully played the Golden Boy card, talking to the Ministry like a good little boy and compromising to pose for a couple of pictures with him for the Daily Prophet's cover. It was so awful I wanted to scream but finally I was granted the permission to visit Azkaban in secret the very next day.

Disgusting place Azkaban is, even without the soul-suckers ghouls, and cold as Malfoy the senior. The damned Mundungus had sold already all the things he stole from Grimmauld Place. Ironically he sold the locket to Burgin & Burkes, unconsciously closing the circle Merope Gaunt started all those years ago. One night I put my heirlooms to good use, sneaking out of the house without Ron or Hermione noticing and went to break in the store. What a daring young men I am. Funnily, recovering the locket was very easy. It was hidden between a bunch of old jewels in a cursed box stored in Burgin's office. I was hit with a couple of nasty little hexes but I could get it and flee out of there relatively unscattered.

We tried to destroy the locket by slashing casting a powerful Diffindo between the three of us and apparently worked well 'cause the thing kind of implode surrounded in a eerie green light but the magic backslash hit us pretty badly. I fell to the floor unconscious and woke up two or three days later, the same with Ron, but we got to protect Hermione from the worst of the blast just so she could be healthy enough take care of us, of course. At least we had though of an emergency plan if anything were to go wrong. She had to contact Madam Pomfrey and made her swear to not tell anything to the members of the Order, especially Mrs. Weasley. If a Horcrux couldn't kill us surely Ron's mother could if she knew what we were doing.

One Horcrux out, now we had to find Hufflepuff's cup and think about Nagini and the mysterious thing belonging to Ravenclaw or Gryffindor.

Six long months later, Ron had a sudden moment of inspiration and made us look for the cup at Hepzibah Smith's house. It wasn't easy to find the exact location of the house 'cause it was demolished after her death but we finally did it. It's amazing the kind of useful things you can learn shopping at Flourish & Blotts, especially if you're able to read as fast as Hermione.

The house was located in Yorkshire near the ruins of the York Abbey and the only thing left was a lot of rubbish surrounded by weeds. But there was a big, enormous clue that confirmed we were in the right place. It was impossible to miss: there were two young DEs guarding the remains of what seemed to be a small crypt. Obviously Voldemort must suspect someone is searching for his Horcruxes and is putting additional security to protect them or he already knows there are three of them missing. In any case, things were going to become dangerous very soon so I put in practice the most ancient and revered Gryffindor technique of attack. I took out my disillusionment charm and run wand in hand directly to the danger. I could hear the groans coming from Ron and Hermione's direction but they followed me and started to attack. The DEs fought well but we managed to overcome them without difficulty. They were two 7th year Slytherins, I don't even remember their names, but we tied them firmly with a cleverly cast Incarcerous and left them for the Order to capture.

The trip into the crypt and the cup's recovery was a bloody and overall nasty business but we did it and lived to tell. We sent a Patronus to the Order to pick up the DEs later and we apparated back to The Nest feeling a bit sore but greatly accomplished. A couple of days later when we felt pretty much recovered from the whole stunt we destroyed the cup using the Diffindos again but adding a tricky spell Hermione found that served to diminish the impact from the magical explosion. It still hit us pretty hard but the unconsciousness part last just a couple of minutes. We proceed to celebrate with a lavish home-cooked banquet and a case of butterbeers, then we slept and laze around for about week and when we felt well rested and calm we finally returned to work.

Well, that was almost ten months ago and we've found nothing, not even the smallest clue. I'm desperate, extremely pissed off, tired of everyone and everything and overall my life sucks. I really don't know what to do.

And the worst of all, I miss the snarky git like mad. I haven't seen him since the beginning of summer but we've been talking through Sirius' mirrors at least a once a week. I think I'll call him later to ask if he wants to spend Christmas here. My Slytherin super spy is going to kill me, I'm not supposed to call him today but I don't want to wait, I'm feeling a little reckless and I'm dying to tease him.

This sex deprivation is killing me. I want the Ferret here, right now.

Ron will kill me when I'll tell him we'll be having a guest over holidays, and Voldemort is always trying to kill me so he doesn't counts.

I'm so incredibly fucked.

And horny.

Malfoy, please hurry up. Right now you're the solution to all my problems.


End file.
